Harry Potter: New World

"As for occlumency..."

The headmaster ate another lemon slice.

"I didn\'t tell you about it before, for it was not to my advantage. I\'m afraid that if you knew these nuances, you would be susceptible to emotion, would not be so determined. You wouldn\'t have dealt with Voldemort so quickly or left the country altogether. And our forces are limited. DMLE and Aurors are bound hand and foot by the law. Well, some are bought entirely."

"So you deliberately gave me all the knowledge and allowed me to use the benefits of Hogwarts so that I would eliminate Voldemort?"

"Angry? Or upset by what I\'ve done?"

"Not at all. I, in a way, assumed something like that.

"That\'s good," Dumbledore nodded. "As for the third subject... Heed the advice and experience of the old man, learn how to remove your occlumency. Like I said, I fell into the same trap once too. I am by no means sinless, Mr. Knight. I\'ve done terrible things going towards my goal. But one day..."

Dumbledore closed his eyes, clearly sinking into not the most pleasant memories.

"... Circumstances that I could not overcome. A ridiculous accident. My shock was so strong that occlumency was not enough. It burst like a balloon, releasing everything that I had been holding back for many years. The gravity of my sins and deeds were multiplied many times over."

Dumbledore opened his eyes, looking at me more seriously and sadly at the same time than ever before.

"To this day, I am haunted by the ghosts of my past. This is..." he raised a cursed hand. "A consequence of one of them. The temptation to return everything was too strong. The temptation to hear just a few phrases..."

He stared at his hand for about a minute.

"Solving the Dark Lord problem… It took just one of the many weights off my soul. But it seems to have been enough to make me stop clinging to life."

"But surely it is possible to cure the curse. All it takes is more specialists, and-"

"Save it, Mr. Knight," Dumbledore brushed it aside with a slight smile. "You know, as a child, I never thought of magic. I never wanted to be a great wizard. I wanted to be a knight with a sword and a shield. Silly, isn\'t it? But life... It set my priorities. I didn\'t want to become a Grand Sorcerer, or Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot, and even more so — the Headmaster. But who asked me? True, I did become Headmaster of my own free will. But you know, before that, I packed my bags every vacation, and until September 1st, I went somewhere, just to get away from this swamp. I fell in love with learning and teaching — this distracted me from all the bad memories and my sins. But no matter what anyone thinks, I am a simple man. Simple, old, and tired. Tired of bearing my cross. You know that death is just the beginning of a new, incredible journey, don\'t you? Maybe next time I\'ll be a knight? Or an astronaut? Or a worm of some sort..."

Dumbledore was obviously floating somewhere with his mind, but pulling himself together, he found a vial of potion in the table, and with trembling hand, he put it to his mouth, drinking it and leaning back in his chair. After sitting for a few minutes with his eyes closed, he spoke again.

"The curse... Clouding my mind. It\'s only thanks to Severus\' potions and my will that I\'m still holding on. Though the latter is slipping through my fingers like sand. Mr. Knight," the Headmaster looked at me. "Don\'t make my mistakes. Sooner or later, the occlumency will come off, releasing the emotion of every memory you experience, every moment of your life, in an instant. That\'s why it belongs to the Dark Arts. Occlumency can cause irreparable harm to a wizard if not balanced. And since it wasn\'t too long ago that the question touched on books..."

The headmaster waved his hand, and from somewhere in the depths of his office, six old and new books flew through the air.

"Higher Light Magic," the headmaster said dryly. "There are copies in the regular section, but usually, you won\'t find them there. My gift to you. So is this."

From the table, the headmaster took out a simple playing card with an arrow on it.

"It will show you the way to the wizard I promised to introduce you to. I myself seem to have clearly overestimated my current capabilities and will not be able to do this personally. But he will recognize you from the card, just as you recognize him. And yet, Mr. Knight. How did you protect yourself from Tom\'s Avada?"

"Thank you," I nodded, taking the books and card and putting them in a bag immediately removed from my shoulder. "I took advantage of one of our developments."

"On the magic accumulator project?"

"Yes, Headmaster. Are you familiar with the physics of ordinary people?"

"Yes, and quite well," Dumbledore nodded, smiling into his beard. He seemed to have finally come to his senses. "Not too long ago, not more than two decades ago, I became very interested in fantasy and the wonders that muggle writers make up. That\'s why I wanted to know more about their science, to have some idea of it, to have a foundation for my imagination.

"We imagined that magic was energy. Energy, in its everyday state, in a certain phase. Avada breaks through any magical barriers because it is in the opposite phase, ignoring shields and magic."

"And you simply inverted the magic and then used it to create a Protego of sufficient power?"

"Exactly."

"Unbelievable. That\'s another proof that I\'m not a genius at all. It\'s all there on the surface. It seems that there was a reason that some of the guilds began to advocate the integration of the Muggle scientific approach and the existing base into the magical worldview. Oh, not for nothing... And you destroyed him in a method similar to that of the Dementors, right?"

"As I understand it, Headmaster, Dementors digest the soul, leaving only its base. No personality, no memories, no experience, no mind. The bare core, so to speak. That\'s exactly what I did. And the Horcruxes, as I understood, self-destructed due to violation of working conditions — there is nothing to keep in the world, there is no connection."

"Yes, that\'s exactly how they work. That\'s exactly what I planned to do through the Mirror... It\'s a pity I failed, and you had to commit a lot... It\'s even more a pity that my mistakes created the factors that contributed to the very appearance of the Dark Lord. Well... I won\'t waste any more of your time. Yes, and for Minerva, there\'s still a lot of different papers to prepare, introducing her to the subtleties of work and how to live on the knuts that the Ministry and Board of Governors allocate to Hogwarts, where to find the money..."

"Are you thinking of making her your successor as Headmistress of Hogwarts?"

"Are there alternatives?" the Headmaster got up from his seat, and I followed his example.

"No."

"That\'s the point. Minerva can handle it, I\'m sure. And I\'ll need to somehow hold out until the summer. Dying in the middle of the school year is the height of indecency, isn\'t it?"

Dumbledore even managed to smile.

"Indeed. They wouldn\'t understand. Good night, Headmaster."

"Good night, Mr. Knight."

Already at the door, I heard him mutter:

"...I wish I could find some painkillers...."